I have just got back from the capital of campness today…Brighton. Had a lovely couple of nights in the gorgeous Victorian sea-side town, famed for its nice restaurants, antique shops and eclectic boutique designer shopping.
You’d think that with a name like Randy Wornhole; wearing sparkly long eyelashes, glittered lipstick and high heels would make me the campest thing to walk the streets of Brighton, also famed for being the gay capital of the UK………BUT NO.
It is quite amusing seeing a bar full of men sporting FULL beards, work jeans, lumberjack shirts all drinking real ale in the gay capital. One would be mistaken to think that you had entered some hard straight man’s after work pub.
Look a little closer, beyond the carefully constructed LOOK, and you will notice that every one of them is mouthing the words exactly to the Kylie track playing on the stereo. Not only that but their little bottoms are wriggling from side to side, precisely following the beat. Next you’ll also notice that many of these men are also causing a severe draft with the speed their hands are gesticulating as they talk to each other, their lips over emphasising each word like they are talking English to a foreigner. If their hands stop moving in a “Jazz Hands” movement long enough to see them, they are all moisturized, nails trimmed, some are even polished.
This look is as much a costume as any decent drag queen worth her salt wears. The really funny thing is when someone walks through the door with a little make-up on and wearing jewellery, their over fast lips start mouthing “How camp is she?” as they continue to wiggle and glide to the next track which is: “OMG Its Shirley Bassey….I just love her.”
Even though I am wearing my extra long fluttery eyelashes…..I STILL FEEL LIKE THE BUTCHEST MAN IN THE VILLAGE. LOL